Recovery is a journey and I think of my own recovery as if were a road trip. Traveling the “road to recovery” is unlike any road trip I’ve ever been on. Sometimes it’s an adventure, sometimes it’s torture, and it’s always a challenge. My personal journey along that road has been the single most significant event in my life. I began my recovery road trip over 20 years ago, and I’m still rolling along the same highway today. In my mind I think it’s more about the journey than it is the destination. It might surprise you, but sobriety is not the ultimate objective of this trip. The goal is to get close to our Lord and settle in for eternal travel through heaven. Yes, sobriety is important, and it’s one of the stops along the road to recovery. There are a number of stops along the way, like Honesty and Humility and Faith, to name only a few.
That’s when I decided to get out of the driver’s seat and let God drive the bus. After all, I didn’t know where I was going or how to get there, but of course He did. God put some very special people in my life that were able to, first get my attention, and then teach me how to trust them and “The Program” that they introduced me to. There’s nothing special about me, I’m just your run-of-the-mill sinner saved by grace. But there is something very special about a 12 Step, Christ-centered recovery program. That program brought me back into the world of the living. I worked the program because I wanted what it promised me — Freedom, Peace, Joy, Containment. My journey along the Road to Recovery continues, one day at a time. Along the way I was given sobriety and an even more precious gift, a real faith that keeps me on the right road.
Before I began my trip on the Road To Recovery, I had managed of convince myself that there was no “problem.” Back then, had you confronted me with a statement like, “Jerry, I think you have a drug problem.” I’d have quickly responded, “I don’t have a drug problem. I can quit anytime I want to.” In my mind, I didn’t have a drug problem, I had a supply problem. Of course, the truth was that I did have a drug/alcohol problem, but I had buried myself in a state of denial and I couldn’t see it. I wouldn’t admit it so I didn’t have to deal with it. You’ve heard people say, “The first step is to admit that you do have a problem.” The old saying is absolutely true, and those who usually say it have no idea that admitting the problem is actually Step 1 of the 12 Steps. “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives have become unmanageable.” At that point I wasn’t ready yet. I hadn’t packed for the Recovery road trip.